Counting blessings

Have you ever read a book that puts a million of questions in your head? A book that makes you look with questioning eyes at everything? A book that helps you make analogy between different things? Opens your mind? So that the steadiness of mountains is appreciated more, drizzling behind the windows says something, that the rivers are to tell you something. It's like intriguing your interests in philosophy of the moment and the past.

Or have you ever read a novel, at which the character would make you even think about each step of the staircases you take. That it reminds you of your childhood that each stair to climb was like a Nobel-worth success. You are panting, open-eyed with pleasure and looking for more challenges. You keep on and after hours you reach the roof. The feeling is eternal; you have passed all the breath-taking obstacles, and now there is beautiful sky to look at. But it doesn't last long; you are out of another difficulty to deal with, to enjoy the feeling of making success, and you feel bored to death. (Of course, I hope your sweet daddy has erected fences). And that the stairs represents your challenges in the real world, that you need them, and when you run out of them, it's the right time to rest your soul.

I worship such writers and consider their pieces as blessings. And I was thinking good for those that live with such novelists and artists, good for those that have brain-stimulating friends.

Economic Models explained with cows

Socialism: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

Communism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh*t out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.

A Russian Corporation: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.

An Afghan Corporation: You say you have none of the cows anymore they are in Pakistan. Everybody affirm that, but Pakistan is like: "You might be right, I haw (have)not seen them myself in Islamabad neighbourhood yet, they could be in ISI Headquarters lawn, grazing, which I can't do much about it". What he thinks is: "Then why not blame Afghanistan for having them both and fencing the border, meanwhile milk them and foster economy, by receiving funds to fight the terrorism".

An American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A German Corporation: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

An Italian Corporation: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You decide to have lunch.

A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A Chinese Corporation: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

An Indian Corporation: You have two cows. You worship them.

A British Corporation: You have two cows. Both are mad. You sell them anyway and instead buy organic bush meat flown in daily at great expense from Kenya ...

A Welsh Corporation: You have two sheep. The one on the left looks very attractive. (For the Americans on this circulation for "Wales" read "Arkansas")

Australian Corporation: If you have two cows business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Offered to bribe

It’s been a while there have been talks of reforms in different government offices; the Foreign, Interior and other ministries, the police, the passport department, etc. But despite all the efforts to show the changes positive and fruitful, people’s faith in the reforms, as the commissions assigned for them were proved infected by the virus and needed to be reformed themselves, is melting and melting.

I had been able to elude myself from confronting government bodies and their tortuous bureaucracy well. But that’s not always possible to achieve. So, head tilted, shoulders drooped, eyes begging for forgiveness, but still I wore an obviously fake facial confidence and walked into the Interior Ministry yesterday.

The veins on the forehead of the manager were not formed yet. That could be a good sign, but probably he was new at the post or the frown was on its way, I thought. But I saw, with patience the clients were treated. “No dear, that’s not the right office”, “Yes, you shall come tomorrow. I will do my best to get it done even today” were sentences that would dream of before, but I heard. Even more surprising was when he would note down the phone numbers to call us and inform when we could get back to collect our documents. Now wait a minute, has the chap actually fallen from sky, or there is something wrong? There must be!

In the evening, just about when I was arguing with my self in favour of the reforms, I received a call from the official, and wondered if he wanted me to fetch my documents at 8 pm!

“I have passed your documents through different offices there, because I knew the paperwork would exacerbate you.” I would thank him, but let him finish. “And the procedure left for tomorrow is a headache. And tomorrow when everything is prepared, I will call you”. That’s great, but he was sounding weird. “At the end, in return, I would appreciate your moral consideration!”, finally he ventured to say. The bell rang and there came the explanation!

Nawroz

Yesterday I got a chance to walk out, thanks to the New Year day. Strolling through the flurry of excitement, I thought it would be a pity not to try to depict some of it.
Not all of these are mine, though. Especially the portraits are captured by an artist and a personal friend of mine, Sayd Mohsen, who very sadly has no blog yet to share the beauty of his work. He is thinking of one, though, and not to my surprise, it may be Apartment No 48. That's the one we share now.

Anyway, of course, I dare not compare my shots with powerful of his. The purpose is merely to share the joy of the day.

Happy New Year!

عالم پیر .... جوان ....شد

سلام دوستان،
سالی پر از مهر و صفا و خوشحالی و خوشبختی، سرافرازی، شادابی و الی آخر داشته باشید. فعلاً پر حرفی نمی کنم. در ضمن، سبز هم باشید.
بدرود
علی

سفر

نفهمید از کجا پیدا شد، چطور آمد، و یا حتی چی بود....

یکی از روزهای نمناک و دلگیر زمستان بود. کم کم رو به گرمی بود و برف رفته و باران سفیدی را شسته بود. می بارید و می بارید....

تا دیروقت در دفتر کار میکرد. آخه دانشگاه را هم می رفت... در رستورانت تکراری شهر نو برگری خورد و با دوستش یک تاکسی گرفت و به طرف خانه حرکت کرد. درسش، کارش، راه رفتنش، از سرک بی ملاحظه گذشتنش، رستورانت انتخاب کردنش، نان خوردنش، ... همه اش فکر می کرد. به چیزی. ولی فکر می کرد. حرف میزد، ولی باز هم فکر می کرد. طالعش بود که کسی نمی پرسید به چی. آخه تازگی ها پتکایی فکر می کرد....

حتی دانه های تازه باران هم از عالم هپروت جدایش نمی کرد، دود سیگرت همسفرش هم، و نه هم تکان های شدید موتر که در سرکهای کابل صخره نوردی می کرد – و نعمت خدا هم به عمق و پستی شان افزوده بود- بی چاره خدا.

او هنوز هم فکر می کرد، ولی چشمانش باز بودند. آخه به یاد دارد که تصاویر تک تک پیش رویش شکل می گرفتند: قطره های باران، گروپ مرده سقف موتر، انعکاس نور چراغ موترهای "لند کروزر" بر روی آب چاله، و بعد تاریکی، عسکرهای نزدیک سفارت ابر قدرت، عسکرهایی خسته که شاید خدا خدا می کنند کسی راپوری را از فلان موتر با فلان رنگ نرساند و تنها از بودن زیر باران سرد در شبهای تاریک رنج ببرند و بس. وقتی موتر به چپ می پیچد ناگهان انعکاس نوری، نه بر آب داخل گودالها، بلکه بر دانه های خسته روی شیشه سمت وی، خورد. نور به قصد خیره کردن چشمان او آمده بود، ولی فرصت نیافت. همه چیز با سرعتی اتفاق افتاد که او نفهمید نور بود یا ظلمت، و شاید هم چیزی متفاوت. و بنگ.... و او دیگر هیچ احساسی نداشت، درد نداشت، او دیگر فکر نمی کرد، او مردن را تجربه کرده بود...

مردنش به او گفت او به تنهایی می اندیشید، مرده اش به او گفت او به سبکباری می اندیشید، به سفر، به برگشت، یاس به آینده، شک به آن، که او برای خانواده مشوش بود، برای نگرانی ها، برای سردگمیها، آوارگی ها. او به فقر فکر می کرد، به بچه های خیابانی و به اینکه آیا باید به آنها پول سیاهی داد یا نه؟ مگر نه اینکه هر کس باید تلاش کند؟ روی پای خود باستید؟ مگر نه اینکه هر کس در هر مقام و هر وضعیتی همان لیاقتش است؟ مرده اش به او گفت که او به مهاجرتهای دور می اندیشید، به اینکه بدون رد پایی از خودش، چه زود فراموشش می کنند و می کند.

An accountant. Arghhhh?

I had always doubted it, but it was about three months ago when a psychological test proved that I'm good only with numbers. Or to put it right, I'm terrible with making sense, at focusing on one point while speaking, writing (and I'm doing it right now!) or even thinking. I shouldn't trust such tests much, but…
According to my new hypothesis, if you wish to single out an accountant from a group of contestants, the quickest way would be to just give them a piece of writing and ask them to read aloud. The first thing they do is panicking. Yes, that is what I think. Trust me, I do not mean to reveal my flaws, but the opposite actually. Think about it, they wish to make sure that each and every word they see is taken well, understood well and then read out well. And actually it is that they worry to lack perfection, that's how they sound like a dyslexic. For those people perfection is a dream….
It is darn easy to fully understand the logic behind numbers, what they contain, hold behind and will present. It is either 1 or 0, yes or no, black or white, Debit or Credit, etc. It is like a digital world that is based the concept of being definite.
But it's otherwise in real world, where nothing can be considered for certain, even the need for education… where am I going? Wait!
I wanted to talk about my field, what I have been involved in for more than four years now. I know this is something that I am actually good at, well, at least I think so, but do I feel lucky doing it?
First of all it is of high prestige and you are, for the most part, considered as one of the key elements of any business, as they put it "language of the business" is in your hand. And if a bit luckier, and for the sake of confidentiality, they provide you with your own space, which has its own cons and pros. It is boring, lonely and sad sometimes, but this is what you should have thought through when opting for playing with figures. On the other hand, when need a break, watch "friends" with no worries your laughter might disturb others, and you can well up watching "stories of war".
A more disturbing quality of my job, however, is what it tells you about your friends, your colleagues, anyone. Or maybe it's so lame of me to judge people from the look on their faces when they receive cash (originally paper), when they struggle to add colour to their bills, when …. I wish I didn't have to notice all this.
You know? Maybe it's time for a change, though academically I have linked myself to it now, but still it doesn't mean I can't work on the other side of the brain. I shall explore the world out there.