Have you ever read a book that puts a million of questions in your head? A book that makes you look with questioning eyes at everything? A book that helps you make analogy between different things? Opens your mind? So that the steadiness of mountains is appreciated more, drizzling behind the windows says something, that the rivers are to tell you something. It's like intriguing your interests in philosophy of the moment and the past.
Or have you ever read a novel, at which the character would make you even think about each step of the staircases you take. That it reminds you of your childhood that each stair to climb was like a Nobel-worth success. You are panting, open-eyed with pleasure and looking for more challenges. You keep on and after hours you reach the roof. The feeling is eternal; you have passed all the breath-taking obstacles, and now there is beautiful sky to look at. But it doesn't last long; you are out of another difficulty to deal with, to enjoy the feeling of making success, and you feel bored to death. (Of course, I hope your sweet daddy has erected fences). And that the stairs represents your challenges in the real world, that you need them, and when you run out of them, it's the right time to rest your soul.
I worship such writers and consider their pieces as blessings. And I was thinking good for those that live with such novelists and artists, good for those that have brain-stimulating friends.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Economic Models explained with cows
Socialism: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
Communism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.
Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh*t out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.
A Russian Corporation: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.
An Afghan Corporation: You say you have none of the cows anymore they are in Pakistan. Everybody affirm that, but Pakistan is like: "You might be right, I haw (have)not seen them myself in Islamabad neighbourhood yet, they could be in ISI Headquarters lawn, grazing, which I can't do much about it". What he thinks is: "Then why not blame Afghanistan for having them both and fencing the border, meanwhile milk them and foster economy, by receiving funds to fight the terrorism".
An American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
A German Corporation: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
An Italian Corporation: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You decide to have lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A Chinese Corporation: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
An Indian Corporation: You have two cows. You worship them.
A British Corporation: You have two cows. Both are mad. You sell them anyway and instead buy organic bush meat flown in daily at great expense from Kenya ...
A Welsh Corporation: You have two sheep. The one on the left looks very attractive. (For the Americans on this circulation for "Wales" read "Arkansas")
Australian Corporation: If you have two cows business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
Communism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.
Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh*t out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.
A Russian Corporation: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.
An Afghan Corporation: You say you have none of the cows anymore they are in Pakistan. Everybody affirm that, but Pakistan is like: "You might be right, I haw (have)not seen them myself in Islamabad neighbourhood yet, they could be in ISI Headquarters lawn, grazing, which I can't do much about it". What he thinks is: "Then why not blame Afghanistan for having them both and fencing the border, meanwhile milk them and foster economy, by receiving funds to fight the terrorism".
An American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
A German Corporation: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
An Italian Corporation: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You decide to have lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A Chinese Corporation: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
An Indian Corporation: You have two cows. You worship them.
A British Corporation: You have two cows. Both are mad. You sell them anyway and instead buy organic bush meat flown in daily at great expense from Kenya ...
A Welsh Corporation: You have two sheep. The one on the left looks very attractive. (For the Americans on this circulation for "Wales" read "Arkansas")
Australian Corporation: If you have two cows business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Offered to bribe
It’s been a while there have been talks of reforms in different government offices; the Foreign, Interior and other ministries, the police, the passport department, etc. But despite all the efforts to show the changes positive and fruitful, people’s faith in the reforms, as the commissions assigned for them were proved infected by the virus and needed to be reformed themselves, is melting and melting.
I had been able to elude myself from confronting government bodies and their tortuous bureaucracy well. But that’s not always possible to achieve. So, head tilted, shoulders drooped, eyes begging for forgiveness, but still I wore an obviously fake facial confidence and walked into the Interior Ministry yesterday.
The veins on the forehead of the manager were not formed yet. That could be a good sign, but probably he was new at the post or the frown was on its way, I thought. But I saw, with patience the clients were treated. “No dear, that’s not the right office”, “Yes, you shall come tomorrow. I will do my best to get it done even today” were sentences that would dream of before, but I heard. Even more surprising was when he would note down the phone numbers to call us and inform when we could get back to collect our documents. Now wait a minute, has the chap actually fallen from sky, or there is something wrong? There must be!
In the evening, just about when I was arguing with my self in favour of the reforms, I received a call from the official, and wondered if he wanted me to fetch my documents at 8 pm!
“I have passed your documents through different offices there, because I knew the paperwork would exacerbate you.” I would thank him, but let him finish. “And the procedure left for tomorrow is a headache. And tomorrow when everything is prepared, I will call you”. That’s great, but he was sounding weird. “At the end, in return, I would appreciate your moral consideration!”, finally he ventured to say. The bell rang and there came the explanation!
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