Economic Models explained with cows

Socialism: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

Communism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh*t out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.

A Russian Corporation: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.

An Afghan Corporation: You say you have none of the cows anymore they are in Pakistan. Everybody affirm that, but Pakistan is like: "You might be right, I haw (have)not seen them myself in Islamabad neighbourhood yet, they could be in ISI Headquarters lawn, grazing, which I can't do much about it". What he thinks is: "Then why not blame Afghanistan for having them both and fencing the border, meanwhile milk them and foster economy, by receiving funds to fight the terrorism".

An American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A German Corporation: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

An Italian Corporation: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You decide to have lunch.

A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A Chinese Corporation: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

An Indian Corporation: You have two cows. You worship them.

A British Corporation: You have two cows. Both are mad. You sell them anyway and instead buy organic bush meat flown in daily at great expense from Kenya ...

A Welsh Corporation: You have two sheep. The one on the left looks very attractive. (For the Americans on this circulation for "Wales" read "Arkansas")

Australian Corporation: If you have two cows business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.